Having a dedicated and experienced coach will make a difference to the way you think, feel and act. But only if you take responsibility for embedding these new practices and insights into your daily life.
It’s like learning a new language… actually, come to think of it, it’s exactly like learning a new language!
Did you know that for an adult to truly change core thoughts and behaviours so that they are a part of us, it takes as long as learning a new language – around 6 months – and requires regular practice.
The wonders of neuroplasticity – turns out you can teach an old dog new tricks!
Given that it’s not just turning up once a week and spilling your guts and moving on, I put together a short list for you to consider: 5 things to ask yourself before you begin coaching.
- Am I willing to put in the work?
We are all busy. Whatever your job, whatever your relationship status, whatever your social life. We are all busy. It will potentially never “feel” like you have plenty of time for coaching, and for practicing what you learn about yourself.
But what is it costing you not to find that extra hour a week? I think you already know – your patience, your happiness, your confidence, your feeling of control? All of the above?
- Am I willing to trust?
A coaching environment should make you feel safe, heard and comfortable. It can be difficult to trust a stranger, especially when they know more about you than you them!
But remember, this person has dedicated their career to helping you, and for that hour you have their undivided attention and every part of them is laser focused on your needs. It’s a judgement free zone, trust me!
- Am I willing to potentially face difficult choices?
Sometimes we have to face up to things we have been avoiding because they make us feel uncomfortable. A coach will metaphorically hold your hand as you face these challenges, and help you make the decision that feels right for you, no matter how scary or overwhelming it may seem.
It is always your choice, but sometimes we need someone to help shine a light on the darker corners we are nervous to explore.
- Am I willing to be challenged?
Many of us are very used to wearing a mask – everything is fine and dandy, relationship’s great, work’s great, happy happy joy joy. Even with our closest friends we often play this game. It’s difficult to talk about things that are not so successful, or that worry us, or consume our thoughts at 3am.
I’ll let you in on a secret – if our logic, emotions, and intuition are not aligned in the decisions we make, this leads to a feeling of dissonance that is sometimes difficult to hide.
When we explore this with a coach, they will sometimes (kindly!) challenge you if they feel that there is more to explore here than your outward demeaner or words imply.
Coaches kinda have a 6th sense for this 😉
- Am I willing to make myself accountable?
As I mentioned before, it takes practice and repetition for the adult human brain to significantly change human behaviours and core thoughts, thickening the connections between neurons that build new habits.
While your coach is always there to support you, and will often follow up with you, or assign “homework”, it’s up to you to do the work.
Whether that’s recognising every time you self-judge, or zapping those “stories we tell ourselves” as soon as they arise, or examining why we are feeling afraid of something… these are only things we can do ourselves, and we are therefore wholly accountable for our own success or otherwise.
Your coach will help you identify challenges and blocks to your success, but at the end of the day it’s your choice, and it’s in your hands.
True change takes time, patience and practice, and your coach will be there for you the entire way. It’s such a transformative time – I know, I’ve been through those heady first months of being coached for the first time! It was a shock to me, but in the best possible way.
And I also know that it works in the long term – once you have the knack to coaching yourself, the skill is yours for life.
Not to put myself out of a job, but I want this for you too 😊
So if you feel ready, reach out to me here and let’s have a chat – book in below for a free introductory call to find out how coaching can help you to be the best you can possibly be.