Yes, coaches have coaches – absolutely! This stuff bloody works, so why wouldn’t we?
I really kick myself that I never had a long-term coach when I was in corporate banking and finance for 17 years. Things could have just been so much easier, calmer, and engaging, with so much less worry, stress and self-judgement.
Yes, I achieved a lot, and I’m really proud of the career that I had and what I accomplished – things I had never even dreamed of. This small-town girl from a beach town in Australia, population 2,700, to CFO of four companies, Board Director of two companies, all whilst living and working all over Europe. But it wasn’t always easy, or care-free, or stress-free. Oh yes, there were a whole lot of doubts and self-judgement going on – all the things we just think are part and parcel of “success”.
Well, let me tell you, a week in a nice Spanish wellness spa isn’t going to make those little Gremlins on your shoulder hold their tongue indefinitely!
But you know what, I have found that coaching can certainly help. It was my missing link, and I’m so glad I can now share this with others so that they can truly enjoy their careers and lives, and be there for the long-haul.
So, whilst coaching is a journey, for me so far it has really helped in the following fundamental ways:
I can coach myself every day – and I want this for you too!
Not to put myself out of a job altogether…. but my goal for you when we work together is to give you the skills to be able to coach yourself. Over time, with regular sessions and with practice practice practice, you will gain so much awareness about how you’re actually living your life, and in what ways this is unhelpful and really getting in your own way of success and happiness. If you make no changes in your life, you can’t expect anything different to happen.
Coaching can actually physically and chemically change your brain!
Thinking differently will make you feel different and act differently, it’s a scientific fact. Use this fact to your distinct advantage, every day, and you will notice changes in all parts of your life, not just your career. Having the accountability of a coach will ensure that you consciously practice these skills every day until they become perfectly natural to you, and you will have them with you for life.
I recognise “the story that I’m telling myself” and shut that shit down.
We speak at around 125 words per minute, but our internal thoughts are many times faster than this, and internal thoughts can be good and bad, and are often more harsh and judgemental towards ourselves than any other person would be. Having awareness of this, and actively tagging this practice in your brain, will allow you to slowly become more adept at changing your own narrative as soon as it begins. Awareness = Choice = Change. I am aware that I am saying negative things to myself, or catastrophising something, so I choose to stop that, and will change the thought to something more helpful and constructive, or actively look at the situation from another point of view, or just shut it down altogether and move on.
I can’t change others, but I can change my response and perspective
Wouldn’t it be great if you could change other people to be more like you would prefer them to be? Your mum would stop nagging, your partner would be more helpful, your boss wouldn’t be such a micromanaging beast…. Well, this is the thing – you can’t. All you can control is how you react to a situation.
People say “I was so triggered by what he said, he’s such an XYZ”. Well, think of it this way – yes, they pulled the trigger, and sure, they might be an XYZ, but you were the one with the explosive ammunition inside you. Think about it – why is that ammunition there in the first place? I find it more interesting now to explore why their actions have made me feel a certain way, because only then do I have the information I need to change my situation. Then I have choice in how I respond, instead of reacting. Get curious, and when you respond differently you might find that others around you respond differently too.
Got rid of stress, found my focus
So we know that everybody will respond to the same stressor differently – for example, some people thrive on working long into the evening, others have to log-off at 5pm or they start to feel overwhelmed. When it comes to work and career, so often the stress comes from our own brains – we feel guilty for not having finished a piece of work, or we agonise over an upcoming review meeting, or we regret what we said to our co-worker in that email we just clicked send on…
So much of coaching is actually to reframe what your brain is telling you into a more helpful narrative, and to recognise what you’re catastrophising and what the real story is. This in turn allows you to focus so much more clearly on facts, and what needs to be done right now. It helps you get in the flow by clearing all other mental distractions, and allows you to focus on the moment so you can blitz through that report and get down the pub on time for that hard-earned G&T.
At the end of the day….
….I’m just a more peaceful, focused, and motivated person than ever before, with more intellectual and physical energy. I’m quicker to be inspired and am embracing my creativity more than ever, and feel driven by purpose rather than what I think others expect from me. I know exactly what I want in my career and life, and I do something every single day to get me there, with purpose and passion.
Damn it’s fun – this is what was I missing out on all this time?!
Book in for a free 45 minute Moxie Discovery call with me below, and let’s see how to best get you started on your own journey to clarity, focus and success.