Many of my clients, and my past self as well, have had insanely busy and stressful lives, what with work, families, relationships and hobbies, and the idea of fitting something else into this craziness, even if we know it will do us a world of good, is almost impossible to imagine!
I should work longer hours, I should finish this report over the weekend, I should spend more time with my spouse, I should see my friends more, I should exercise more…
We “should” all over ourselves
But there just isn’t any time left in the day after all the “shoulds”.
Or is there?
We are all in constant change, in every moment of our lives, so why not use that to our advantage and make conscious changes to benefit us? Even the smallest change will compound over time and allow us to look back over the last 6 months, 12 months, 2 years, five years and think “wow, look how far I’ve come”.
First step is to work out if these shoulds are actually necessary. Did anyone with the authority tell you the report has to be done by a certain time? Did your partner say they felt neglected and would like more time together? Or are you assuming?
Ask yourself – Is this the story that I’m telling myself?
Assumptions and interpretations are the devil at work! Clarify exactly what is necessary at work or exactly what they expect, and then if you have the time, headspace and inclination go above and beyond. It’s the only way to keep your sanity over the long term! Check in with your partner, chat with your friends, have that conversation and ask how they are feeling, instead of assuming or interpreting. Having these conversations, and setting clear boundaries, can be difficult, but it is worth your happiness in the long run.
Next step is to work out what it is you actually want. Not should want, or could want. But really personally want. Do you want to start reading more? Then set aside 10 minutes a day to read a few pages, instead of doing something you “should” be doing. You want to start a side-hustle but your current job has got you busy enough? Find 15 minutes to make small steps in your business a few days a week – push aside some of those “should” items and get into the “wants” with focus and passion.
Doing things you really want, you really desire, is invigorating, motivating and energising. And over time, those 10 pages a day, that hour a week on your new hobby, will add up. You will look back and be surprised at how much you actually accomplished, and how much you actually enjoyed it. AND how your job / relationship / fill-in-the-blank didn’t actually suffer from that little extra time you took for yourself. In fact, you may just find that they benefited, as you find new sources of engagement, energy and interest, which will lift your whole personal outlook on life. Happiness breeds happiness!
Enter stage left – Coaching! As an Executive Leadership Coach with a 17 year background in corporate finance I know how jam-packed a day can be. But I can help you gain clarity on your shoulds, focus on your passionate wants, and work out a fail-safe plan to allow you to make significant change in your life without feeling like you’re just guiltily jamming more into your day. Book in for a free 45 minute Moxie Discovery Call below and we can get you started!