Otherwise known as that little voice inside us telling us we’re not quite good enough, or to doubt our capabilities, or to question what others think of us.
It’s the author of everyone’s bestseller: “The Stories We Tell Ourselves”.
It’s loud, and its opinionated, and it can drown out our own internal cheerleaders, our rationality, and our self-confidence.
Especially during that 3am Worry-Vortex, when we get sucked into the swirling maelstrom of self-doubt, with the Itty-Bitty-Shitty-Committee taking detailed minutes on “That Silly Thing I Said in the Meeting Yesterday”, or “The Presentation I Will Totally Crash and Burn At Tomorrow”.
Many of us can recognise it for what it is… but how on earth do we tell it to pipe the hell down?!
It’s time to call a Committee Meeting and disband the Board!
You’re in control of the conversations you have with yourself.
Let me say that again, for those in the back of this meeting – you’re in control of the conversations you have with yourself.
As humans, our brains are designed to protect us, so they are naturally geared to take greater note of the negative than the positive – over twice as likely, in fact. So it’s not your fault that you think like this, and of course, you are most definitely not alone!
But just because it’s natural doesn’t mean we have to put up with it.
Fear is almost always based in the past or future, it is very rarely based on anything that is happening right now. Our Itty-Bitty-Shitty-Committee gets its voice and its mandate from fear – it’s the driving force behind all these Stories We Tell Ourselves.
So if the Committee’s Agenda Item #1 is based on a story about your past, take a moment to ask yourself: “How true is this, really?” Realise that whatever you’re telling yourself is one truth, based on your own beliefs and perceptions, and not necessarily based on Truth.
What’s another perspective here? Is it possible that The Story You Are Telling Yourself is not actually the only way to look at this? I will tell you now, it is absolutely not the only way to look at any situation. If your brain is capable of making up negative stories, why can’t we task it with making up more supportive stories? Over time, we might just start to believe them.
If the Committee’s Agenda Item #2 is based on a demoralising story about your future, firstly know that it hasn’t actually happened yet! You are making yourself sick with worry about something that doesn’t even exist, and will likely never come to pass. How self-destructive is that?
How about getting granular here: what’s the worst that could happen? And then what? And then what? And then what? When you get down to it, nothing is insurmountable. Facing these fears will take away some of their energy, bit by bit, until there is nothing left to cause you fear. As it hasn’t happened yet, you can also take back control – write down what you can do about it. Planning and preparing can give you a sense of agency, again taking away some of the fear of the unknown.
So now, when the Itty-Bitty-Shitty-Committee comes around for its annual dues, you can cancel your membership for good – Meeting adjourned!