Change Your Who – Change Your Life
Now, what do I mean by your Who? This is really your core energy, how you view yourself and your place in the world. The version of your Who in this moment is shaped by your beliefs and your values, which in turn come from all your life experiences, your family and friends, co-workers, society, and your environment. In this moment, you can’t be anyone but your current Who! This is what makes us all unique.
But this doesn’t mean we can’t change our Who.
What you do right now has a far greater impact on your future Who than something that happened 20 minutes ago, or 20 years ago.
Now why is this so important? Because when you consciously change your Who, your What and your How unconsciously change. It’s a magical ripple effect… but only in one direction.
Who you are will control What you do and How you do it.
Consider this: if your Who tends to be a people-pleaser, you will feel bad about letting people down and will have trouble setting boundaries, possibly to the detriment of your own wellbeing. If you try to set boundaries without shifting your Who, you may feel guilt and a real dis-ease, which will hold you back from sustainably setting boundaries.
Or if your Who believes that you can’t possibly say no to a project for the sake of your career, even though you’re flirting with burnout, you will take on the extra work and make yourself anxious and overwhelmed with the additional pressure you’ve accepted into your life. Saying “No” to the additional work is just not part of your current Who, and to do so would make you feel anxious about the impact on your career, and what your manager may be thinking about your work ethic.
Sometimes we try to change the What, but if our Who hasn’t changed to be the type of Who that naturally does this, the change will likely be unsustainable, and we will go back to our old habits, based on our usual Who.
This is why so much burnout literature is (in my view!) so terrible! “Take a bubble bath! Light some candles! Go for a walk!”. This is a short-term adjustment to your What and How, and 15 minutes later your Who is screaming at you for all the work that you “should” be doing!
So how on earth do we change our Who? We’re talking decades of beliefs and experience here! We have so much “evidence” that our Who is the right one for us that it’s incredibly difficult to see a different way of viewing ourselves and our world.
How do I become the type of person who doesn’t sleep with their phone under their pillow? How do I become the person who ignores emails on the weekend? How do I become the person who can receive critical feedback and not stew over it? How do I become the person who loves eating healthy and exercising?
Changing your core energy can take time, practice, and a heck of a lot of self-reflection.
It’s uncovering your hidden and long-held beliefs about the world and yourself, and questioning them, really probing them, uncovering the lies and half-truths we’ve been telling ourselves – those stories we make up that are True, damn it!
It’s finding a new Truth that resonates with our true core energy – the one that allows us to lead a purposeful and passionate life, with less of the guilt, judgement, anxiety and stress that so often blind us to our endless possibilities.
Our Who is truly limitless if we shed our fears and limiting beliefs.
There is a world of possibility out there.
Ask yourself – what’s keeping you from your ideal Who?
If you want to explore this further please reach out to me – my coaching is focused on uncovering this core energy, and helping you make real and sustainable changes to your life. It’s my passion and part of my Who that I cherish.